It seems like suddenly I am writing out of the blue, which means it must be April fool s day right? It isn’t. it is just that finally I have my own apartment. So now I can do all the activities I used to do before I had to move out due to shitty circumstances.
What exactly happened
To say blatantly, my landlord was weird and creepy. He would enter anytime my house without any information and would steal my things. My trimmer got stolen, my bag got stolen (it had nothing though). But I would not be able to complain because my contract had already expired, and I was staying there illegally. So, finally when in November the heater broke and it was winter here in Germany, and since my landlord did nothing about it, I decided to move out. I stayed with a friend for two months but since we were sharing a single room and I had to pack everything , I could hardly do anything besides work, eat and sleep.
What happened until Now in my life
After October, I have hardly blogged but now I will continue to blog every now and then peacefully. In November I was living in an AirBnb apartment and could hardly workout or do anything (since I had to wash my clothes outside and also can’t put my workout clothes to dry out every day). Then in December during the winter breaks, I travelled to Seville in spain, and spend few days there before travelling in south of Portugal and a week in lisabon. I had amazing time hiking and spending a lot of time outside, the weather was amazing and I could really relax in the beaches and read some books as well.
In January I was already back in frankfurt and was working for a week before travelling to india for a month. My aim was to visit my friend living in india for his wedding but suddenly my aunt was sick and she died. Nobody expected this since she was healthy and not that sick and I was checking on her almost every day, but she passed away. So I cried. Because she was quite close to me, almost like my second mother. I really must thank my ex for making me this emotional man who realised what is important to me in life. Before meeting my ex I was strong and would rarely cry. My grandpa who died did not make me feel anything, even though he was even closer to me than my aunt and I loved him a lot. And now that I think about it , I am just ashamed. Not because I did not cry. But because I felt nothing. Like my life just went on without any emotion or sadness. I wish I was this way, when my ex left me.
I think emotion defines a person. If a man cries, doesn’t mean he is weak. But it just shows how much the person meant and how expressive and emotional that person is. Our society portrays a strong man as the one who supports everyone(woman) when they are sad and doesn’t share his sadness and doesn’t cry. But a strong man is the one doesn’t hesitate in showing his emotions and is involved in both the happiness and sadness of his partners, family and the surrounding friends and people.
Anyway, I cried every now and then and everyone was obviously surprised by it. I could not attend my friend s wedding. I was in my village where my aunt was cremated and due to some superstitions in India that you should not visit anyone except your own house after someone dies, I had to stay there for almost two weeks. My vacation got over just like that.
I came back to Germany and moved to my new empty apartment just before a month. Took me sometime to build some furniture, and I am still building them but atleast now the house looks inhabitable.
I am also building a small gym inside my house and will update about it in my next blog posts. It is nice to write again. It brings back the memories of me writing fanatically when I had my breakup last year during this time. I still think about her sometimes and thus it has made me to stop moving on completely because the next girl I want to be with, should have 100% of my love and attention. But I am happy and grateful with everything that has happened. Life is worth living, folks. Don’t forget it. You might go through hard times. But when you will come out of it, you will appreciate your history!