Posted in Relationship and Love

But is it worth it (Part 1)

So, I was talking to an Indian woman who contacted me regarding education abroad and which country is better or best for masters and higher studies. At first it seemed like a normal conversation and she looked like someone who just wants to study abroad, experience it and live the western dream. Coming from India which is still a developing country with lots of issues in infrastructure, politics and life in general in terms of work, many students aspire to go abroad and start a new life, studying and working here. But as the conversation went on with this woman, I realised something. She was focussing mainly on settling and living abroad and getting the PR/citizenship. This intrigued me to understand why? Why someone wants to settle abroad so badly when they are living in India which according to me is not a bad country to live.

You might think. Isn’t it hypocritical that I myself live and work abroad and since I found it better than my home country, I decided to settle there? Well it is partially true. I was tired of my monotonous life in India. I had started a small company there, but still life was not simple. Besides I am a very curious person. I wanted to explore and travel and understand many things about life and experience things outside my comfort zone. I had not much money but I decided to do it. Study automotive engineering in probably the best possible country in the world for Automotive. I got a scholarship and everything worked out. But do I want to settle here? Did I plan to settle here? I guess not. I will talk about the reason why I don’t want to settle abroad and particularly Germany in Part 2 of this blog post later.

Back to the conversation. I asked her why she wants to settle abroad so badly. What makes her take such a drastic step?  Her reply was alarming and something worth pondering for all us Indians.

So as you can see, this is the perception of an Indian woman living in India. Not only it is sad, it makes me kind of angry that this is the condition the Indian woman are living in right now and a situation created by a male chauvinist Indian society. But I want to go through what she said and my perspective on it. Keep in mind that I won’t be defending India just because I am an Indian. I am an open person and consider myself more like a part of the world. Another thing is that this women lives in Delhi where the treatment and culture regarding women is different than how it is in the south of India where I come from.

Here we go:

  • Crime Rate in India – Yes, crime rates are high but not as high as countries in South America or even countries like United States, France. The number of homicides and similar are high in India because of the population but the crime rate index is not as high (India lies at number 61 and countries like Germany, Australia are just a bit behind). You can check the link below for the ranking and the index (again index is not the amount of crimes happened but it is a percentage compared to total population)
  • Rape Rate in India – Yes this is the serious problem in India and especially in the north of India. The issue here is the thinking that women should not be allowed to do whatever they want while men can and also judging someone based on their clothes or if they are in relationship or to even think that women are just an object to enjoy. But again, yes rapes happens a lot and is frequently reported by media, but India still lies much below many other countries. Indian media knows how to get more views and interests and thus focusses on rapes and murder more than other things. While in USA these things are not as important as celebrity life, politics and other scandals. I am not saying India is better because it has less rapes. But it is still safer than many other countries especially for Indian women. Why not for a foreign women in India? Because thanks to stupid thoughts in our culture and society and even Media which portrays foreign women as hookers and as someone who can sleep easily with other men like they should be doing in their own country (yes that’s what many people think in India).

  • Professionalism and Basic manner – I agree. Depends on people but compared to Germany and even USA according to some of my friends, this doesn’t exist profoundly in India. Of course I am not stereotyping but I have seen and heard the basic etiquette doesn’t exists. But there is a reason. Because Indians get friendly really fast with everyone and no matter what or which position everyone is working at, they try to behave in quite a friendly way. And by friendly I mean in a way that we have known each other for quite a long time. For example after getting to know each other few days sometimes people help each other with food, money and every other possible thing without expecting a thank you. This doesn’t exist here in Germany or many other countries I have been to. What is the reason? I think it’s not just education but the narrow-mindedness and the way the kids are nurtured and brought up in the society matters a lot as well.
  • Work- Life balance – Again I agree with her. People have to work a lot and put a lot of extra hours at their work without getting appreciated or paid much accordingly. Number of holidays is limited and even during those holidays you might be asked to assist or worse come to work. But the worst part is even you get free after work you can’t engage in much activities except movies or sometimes going out for drinks with friends and stuff. Compared to Germany or many other foreign countries where you have many activities, events, festivals and meet-ups happening each and every day (not in small villages and cities but still you can always find something), not to mention the occasional weekend travels across Europe you can engage in.

Conclusion

I think a lot of things are being exaggerated about India. People who are living in India think it is a shit country and not safe and it is better to live abroad. In this post I just tackled some of the misconception we have about India. Second, living abroad as an Indian you will notice more the use of drug and alcohol which leads to more issues than in India. Of course there are many things which I find better abroad. Traffic is limited and pollution as well. But is it worth it? To live abroad and leave India forever? I will talk about it in the next part of this blog post. But until then feel free to leave your comments and feedback and maybe also compare your countries and tell me whether you will leave your country to live in a country like Germany or any other developed country.

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Started blogging about my life experience after my first heart wrenching breakup, my lessons, my efforts and steps to recover and finally how my life shapes up in the next few years!! This blog is more like a journal or writer's log (wlog).

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