Everything

Posted in Relationship and Love

My Breakup Song

This blog was started by me when my breakup happened. The whole scenario, even though not in detail was part of my first blog post.

I Broke Up and I Feel Like I Am Dead

Time has been quite slow for me, but still it has been 6 months and counting and I still feel like I am living in a dream. But the good news is I am getting better and so will you because time is a beautiful witch. It gives, and it takes something at the same time.

As a tribute to my life story and the past one year, I have written a breakup song. This song is just a very short summary of what happened in the last one year. The title is “The Wanton Wind”. Since every writer or poet has a pen name, I have decided to adopt mine as Mark Nauru. Why this particular name. It is a secret. Maybe you can guess. Or maybe I will tell you one day. Here is how the poem goes.

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Posted in Lost Frequency

Hohenzollern Castle Stuttgart (Lost Frequency Edition)

I was on a vacation during the last week and thus could not blog neither workout. But, that gives us another topic to blog about in my travel logs known as Lost Frequency. I spent 4 days there and my plan was to spend not my entire time in Stuttgart considering I have already been there twice.

I specifically wanted to visit Hohenzollern castle which is around 2 hours from Stuttgart with a train. This is how the whole trip turned out to be:

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Posted in Workout Logs

Workout Log Sep 11

I must say I am surprised with my commitment. Believe me, this year I am probably the laziest person in the world. Lot of the credit must be given to the depression I had. Maybe even now I am not completely happy like I used to be. But overall I became the laziest animal in this entire planet this year. But nevertheless my motivation has never been higher in terms of working out. I got up and had no doubts in my mind today that I won’t work out. No thoughts that let’s take a rest today. For breakfast I had cereal (Müsli) with milk. I guess it is not that healthy and had chocolate and nuts. But a bit of fat and carbs in the morning is good. For lunch I had a salad and since I have already showed once how it looks, I will try to post the pic only every now and then. I worked late today and came back home around 20:00, but took only a min to put on my running gear and started my workout. Here is what I did.

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Posted in Workout Logs

Workout Log Sep 10

Yesterday I could not workout. I really wanted to, but ended up feeling too lazy and feeling too much pain in my body. I guess every now and then, a rest day is essential for body heal. But today after a day of gap, I continued now in my journey towards weight loss. I had a bananna for breakfast, followed it up with a bread cheese and jogurt. I had all of these for breakfast. Thus, a heavy breakfast. I had no lunch today but I did had a banana around 16:00, three hours before my workout. By the time I wanted to workout, my stomach was already growling. Thus, it has made me realise that it is better to have many small meals than few big ones. Here is what I did today

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Posted in Relationship and Love

My Dream Partner

I was talking to my parents yesterday and they started telling me that in few years in need to get married. My parents actually want me to marry soon. But I am not interested. Actually, right now women don’t attract me. At least not sexually. Ironic considering, I still watch porn sometimes. I feel gay even though I am pretty sure I am straight as a rod. I blamed breakup for many things. My weight gain, my depression and making me lifeless. But I would agree that the one thing this breakup has left me with, is feel uninterested in women. It is not even a choice. But it is like an order, my body has taken from this experience, to not look at women or admire their beauty or get attracted to them.

Which brings me to my blog post, what kind of women attract me or used to attract me in this case. I never had an ideal partner in my mind. But now I want to put together an imaginary woman who I would love to be with based on what I think and feel I like and is necessary for me. Let’s see how it turns out. These are the qualities I think is important in a relationship for me with no specific order.

Let’s start with

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Posted in Workout Logs

Workout log Sep 8

I created this draft yesterday when I was on the train, going to watch the movie “THE NUN”. I love horror movies. But before that I wanted to create a draft about my workout today. I will keep it short since I don’t have much time.

Day

Yesterday I had again a brunch. Rice but not much with lots of vegetables cooked together in a pan. I also had some pineapple. Since it was the weekend I decided to cook myself and something healthy. They looked something like this :

Workout

I didn’t workout a lot yesterday. I didn’t run because I had to get ready to go to the bar and then watch the movie later at night. But still I worked out enough. And even little efforts everyday matters. Only need to make sure that consistency is maintained.

I did the total body workout from the app 7, then did the day 7 workout from the app “Six pacs in 30 days”. But by the time I finished with these two I was already sweating a lot. Then I used the app “home workout”, after a long long time. I got exhausted but it was time to shock my body.

So for that I did weight Trainings today. Intensive chest and biceps training from the app “dumbbells workout”. Here I did just 3 sets of each exercise. But the interesting thing is only 30 seconds break between each exercise and 1 min break between each set. Each set had 6 exercises lasting for 30 seconds each. My arms are still paining from this and it is surprising for me considering I was only lifting 5 kilos.

PS – For those who want more pics of my diet or my running routines, please check out the previous logs in September.

Dinner

I had some custom kuskus but very small quantity before I left. I went out and had beer but I made sure I took it in small quantity (around 300ml). And for my dinner I had a fitness burger. This burger has no cheese and the bread is with high wheat content. I had carbs tonight and that is a bit regrettable but since I have just started the journey now, I think I will take baby steps. Instead of completely cutting off the lifestyle I had, which is quite difficult to be honest. Overall I’m pretty sure I lost calories today much more than I gained. And that’s the secret to weight loss. Looking forward to day 8, which is today.  I will try to post it today before I sleep.

Posted in Workout Logs

Workout Log Sep 7

I am posting a day later because I went out yesterday night and ended up drunk and could not post in time.

The day started very slowly for me. I got up really late around 9:30 and by the time I had my breakfast and ready to leave for work, it was around 10:30 am. Crazy I know. The culprit? Me sleeping very late around 03:00 in the morning. So, on the things I should be working on besides drinking 4L of water every day, sleeping early is one of the most important. Why? Your body needs to repair its teared-up muscles after workout and besides protein, sleep is essential in doing this job. Anyway, I had a heavy breakfast today.

I could have had a light breakfast and then have lunch again at work. But I decided to have a big bowl of rice and skip my lunch instead. The rice was plain boiled but had yogurt and some pesto mixed in it along with some beans. Pesto and rice is not good for the body. But it is better to have my carbs now and enough fuel to run through the day. Remember, no carbs at night is quite important here. I also thought I can also skip my lunch if I have a big bowl of rice. But I already felt like it was a bad idea throughout the day. So, no lunch. Instead I had a chocolate milk and had my share of the fat for the day. Here is how my workout went in the evening.

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Posted in Workout Logs

Workout Log Sep 6

I know it’s been two days since I posted anything in my workout logs. On tuesday, my friend visited me and it was his birthday. There was no way I would have abandoned him and would workout. I bought him a cake and beers and we celebrated and I ended up munching on quite a lot. felt very guilty but then I should have a cheat day every week and decided to allocated this Tuesday, Sep 4 for cheat day. But the worst I fapped and that was the biggest regret I had.

But on the other hand, I am proud of what I have started. I have relapsed but I will try again and this time I will go without it for 10 days. Sep 5 2018 I got sick with headache and could not workout. So overall I had two days of rest but today finally I got better. I am back on track and today was my official Day 4 of workout. Here is how it went!

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Posted in Workout Logs

Workout Log Sep 3 2018

Morning

Honestly when I got up today I was like “Today there is no way I can workout”. My body was aching. It was feeling the pain after two days of workout. Those sit-ups, lunges, planks, push-ups and few other exercises recommended to me by one of the dozen apps I am using, has teared up my body. I thought maybe it is time to rest today.

But then I decided against it. I knew that it is either this, or binge eating again maybe followed with fappening. I know one thing for sure. Even a little bit of workout keeps you away from jerking off and feeling like a loser. So, against my body’s will I got up and went to work thinking that I will workout today when I am back. Had a light breakfast consisting of one loaf of bread and some cooked spinach from last night.

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Posted in Share your story

Stuck in a Maze

The second interview of this blog series. This interview was quite emotional. She is one of my best friends and the only person who pretty much knows everything happening in my life. In fact, I have shared more with her than anybody in the last 6 months. I met her via an online learning app. She taught me her language and I taught her English. She improved her English and my proficiency in her language is still bad. Sucks. Anyway, we were no that close before. But with time the respect and affection grew between us. We consider each other like family and I think she is like a young sister I never had. I am happy she is part of my life and I hope our brother-sister relationship will stay for as long as I breathe. So, here is what happened.

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