Well it has been a long time since I posted something in this blog. Not that anybody missed me, but I myself missed writing my feelings and updating my diary. The last few weeks has been quite a roller-coaster full of emotions and thoughts. I was on a trip to India, my homeland (maybe this is the first time I mentioned this on my blog). And after I am back I had lots of thought regarding what true relationships really mean. I will keep it short.
The moment I landed at Bangalore International Airport, I had mixed emotions. I was happy that finally I was at home. Because honestly even though Germany is my second home, I have nobody here. I have “friends” and one of my best friend is/was my roommate. But his selfish attitude, lies and love for money and the misery coming along with it and those “I will do things for you because you did it for me” thinking made me realise it is enough for me to let go of this and rather be alone or make some new friends.
So I was glad that I am going to be spending time with my family and friends. The last few months have made me very emotional person and that sucks. I saw my mum and dad and almost had tears in my eyes but controlled it somehow. They hugged me and there was such a warmth in that hug that I was ready to trade everything for that warmth to continue. My mum was very happy and so was my dad.
My mum knew I had gone through a bad phase (without the details of the therapy etc) and she genuinely wanted me to get better.
A parent’s love for their children is usually unconditional and no matter what others say but think or do otherwise, family (especially direct ones involved like mum and dad) will always love and support you and want the best for you without any jealous or bad feeling hidden. That’s what a true relationship is.
I know there are cases where parents are not good and friends help us more than parents can. In my case, I have friends in India who have helped me through a lot of good and bad. I also have a friend from Brazil who I met in an online platform but turned out to be a strong support pillar throughout my life. Her name is Denise and even though we laugh and fight together I am sure she genuinely wants good things for me. A true relationship is something where there is no (or not much) expectation and a person genuinely loves and cares about someone without any regret or remorse (“oh man why he got ill. I would have gone out instead of taking care of him”). A true relationship is something where you unconditionally love someone no matter what they do in their life. Theoretically this kind of relationship doesn’t exist. Everyone has a little expectation and some have many. Expectation is necessary. But these expectations should be generalist and not materialistic. I can expect my mother to take care of me but I can’t expect her to buy me a new bike only then to love her back.
Most of the relationship or friendship nowadays exists because someone has money or is very good looking or is doing good things for you. If you start doing things for someone out of genuine care and love and not because they did something for you, a true bond forms. And this bond defines a “true” “genuine” relationship.
When I spent my time with my family, my relatives, I realised how some of them have this true love and care for me without any expectations in return. My cousins jumped on me, hugged me, asked me to play with them, kissed me and told me they missed me. My aunt, my uncle took care of me, whether I got sick or whether I was healthy. They say sometimes home is where family is. I think it is more complex than that. Home is where true relationship exists. A true pure relationship where people really want you in their life and care about you. I am sure no matter what happens in life, their feelings towards me will never turn to be selfish or change. I remember my mum and dad no matter what I did, looked at me with same love and care which they did when I was like 8. I know my friend in Canada will do anything for me when I am trouble because it is genuine.
Try to preserve this relationship healers. Because you know that if the worse happens you can always go back to them for help and support. If you don’t have such people in your life, then maybe they will come to your life. But don’t stick with people who are around to enjoy the ride as long as the ship sails.
The moment the ship falls, everyone will jump without looking at where you are and if you are safe, except these people with whom you have a True relationship.