One of the best quotes I ever heard in the recent times. And this quote is also the answer to my previous post’s open discussion -> What made me finally give up and also accept the breakup.
In the last post I talked about how everything was in my relationship and I did not give up until at a certain point where my ex told me something which opened my eyes and made me realise what was actually going on. Surprisingly this quote came out of my ex and it was funny why she actually said it. But why she said it? She thought she was not special for me even after everything I was doing and was ready to do anything and that she was just another woman.
The conversation was somewhere along the line:
Me – Can I ask you something? I was and am ready to do anything for you? I was doing everything for you? Take responsibility for your life here, wait for you here for the next 4 years and maintain this distance, visit you again this year and be with you again and work from your country for a month or two. marry you. Fight my family, my tradition my culture for you. Even move to your country and leave my job. I was ready to do it?
My ex- I can answer this. It is because when someone wants something, they will do anything. If it was not me and it was another woman you would have done the same.
This answer made me give out a sad laugh. I was sad because this thinking according to me was quite ludicrous. I was like “What the heck she is saying? Does she even know what she is saying? She is the first woman I did and am doing all these things for and ready to do anything. And she thinks she is just another woman I want to marry, ready to do anything which also includes throw my life here?” .My aim was not even to settle down right now. I am 25. Young enough. But to reduce this distance and make sure she is here I was even ready to marry her. Thank god I did not. This also shows that I wanted her in my life badly and only her, but it was not reciprocated the other way around. Because I never did anything for my previous ex or any other woman in such an extreme or drastic way before this woman (and that includes my mother sadly).
But what she said, made me think about one thing. If she really wanted me and wanted to be with me she should have been ready to do anything or even do something big enough which shows that she wants to be with me. And I am not talking about words or future promises but actual actions and steps/efforts. She put a condition of few more years of long distance without asking me, according to her and her family’s comfort (her previous decision before a month was something similar). She put no efforts to show that she actually wanted to be with me from the beginning. She had limitations to do these (and I understood them specially the financial angle) but when I was ready to help her, even then she wanted few more years of separation. Then came “let’s break up/let’s separate” rant for every problem we had. So she never actually was ready to do anything for me. I was not in her top priority list but she was for me. My world revolved around her. So according to her logic the conclusion was that she never wanted me. “Right back at you babe”.
Healers or fellow readers who are looking for love or have lost one. Maybe your ex or your present gf truly never/doesn’t loved/love you. Because in all honesty if she really wanted you, she should have been ready to do anything for you. If not I will say, screw them. Wait for a person who would love you this way. And even if she is not extreme this way and she gives some importance to her family or her career (which she should), you should test your partner if given the choice between breaking up, compromising or ready to do anything for you, what will she choose. You can just simply write in a page that you are going to test this (write the whole process). And test your partner what she will do in these extreme situations. If she just wants to break up without no further discussion, just run away from this relationship because if not now, but in future, this “Selfish Stanley” will throw you away for her own selfish unknown reasons. If she is ready to compromise or the better do anything for you, then your relationship has a chance to survive for a long enough period (only this won’t determine but this is quite important according to me). If she gets mad, then just tell her and show her your written entry that one of your friend/doctor wanted to do this experiment. Your partner should be open enough to take it easy or worse be silent for few minutes or hours but if she goes very angry and doesn’t take it easy then again be careful with such personalities. Either you must be calm enough to endure such situations and rants or you will just get more and more frustrated in future.
I am not a relationship advisor even though I am a relationship guy. But this is quite true. Choose someone who is ready to fight the world for you and ready to do anything for you. And it should not be just words. Actions speak louder than the words. If you find such a person then make sure that you never let go of this person. But keep your fingers crossed that this attitude of theirs doesn’t change with time. And for that you need be ready to do anything for them as well. But if a woman/man has no fear of letting you go and always thinks about breakup/separation for every problem you create and thinks can replace you easily, then better run away because that bi*ch/as*hole will leave you the moment they find a way or better person. Why?
Because they never loved you but only the “Concept Of You”
Good luck to us!!! Healers!