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Islamophobia- An inner demon which I never thought existed

I believe myself to be a completely open person. More open then most of the people in India. I believe in equality between men and women, that they should share all work equally including cooking, taking care of kids etc. Which is not that common in India. I believe that LGBT humans should be respected and allowed to marry as per their wish. I think they are normal and same as others and I have few gay friends as well.

I am open to new culture and experiences as well. I respect all the religions and even though I am myself an atheist, but I think anyone should be allowed to follow their own religion and culture no matter where they live. We should respect it and them.

In the last two decades there has been a lot of terrorism specially after ISIL came into existence. Starting from the heart wrenching September 11 attacks in the USA until the New Zealand mosque attacks in Christchurch. Let’s just accept that most of the terrorist attacks have been due to the extremists in Islam. We can’t deny it and it’s a fact.

But I think terrorism is in every religion. I won’t and can’t blame a Muslim just because one of his kind attacked and killed hundreds of people. There are good and bad people everywhere. I follow most of the world news closely and have defended Muslims when they were blamed for most of the problems in the western world, including my country Germany. Here in the state of Saxony, Islamophobia is rising heavily, and it is kind of scary.

I am educated enough, and I know that I am right. I thought I was the better person. And these fools spreading hatred about Islam and islamophobia are just dumb ignorant people who just don’t know how childish and stupid they sound. Until I experienced this.

I was on a trip in Portugal and I was sleeping in one of the hostels. Totally this room had 5 beds and the other 4 were occupied but I had no idea who was there, since I arrived at this city quite late. The city of Seville is quite magnificent and after being out the whole night and worn out, I slept. Next morning my eyes opened, and I was thirsty and wanted to get off my bed, until I saw a group of 4 men praying at 6 in the morning. Now after research I came to know that it is called Fajr, an early morning prayer before sunrise.

These 4 men were wearing old torn clothes and had their capes on. No offense but they looked somewhat like the people they show on documentaries and TV news, responsible for killing lots and lots of people. I knew that they were just praying but they way it all happened, it completely scared me. I wanted to just lie down and not make any noise and might even had a thought that I might be killed any minute. The issue was that I was lying on the top bed, while they were lying and praying. Somehow it made me think “damn. They are praying before carrying out the act of their god. Today is the end for me. Why did I travel! My house was much safer and better”.

After 5 min of torture, they finally left. I realised I was just being dumb and insane and at point even felt embarrassed and disappointed with myself. How can I, out of everyone feel this way! They were just some innocent people praying to their god before starting their day. The discipline to do it before 6 in the morning was commendable as well considering I am myself a lazy goose.

The point is, that day made me realise that somehow a bit of islamophobia existed in me as well, thanks to our amazing media and news propagandas. The worst part is that I never realised this and even though it never happened again, I wonder how much the past two decades have influenced people in such a way that they dread Muslims and Islam.

This is really something worth thinking and pondering about. Because Islam or no Islam, humans hating humans because of a religion should not exist. That’s my thinking and feeling as well. Period.

It makes me also wonder whether the other people who have the “actual” islamophobia might have undergone something like what I did, albeit extreme and permanent? I don’t know. What is going through the mind of an Islamophobic. Only they might know it. But I do know one thing. This word, “Islamophobia” should not exist.

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Started blogging about my life experience after my first heart wrenching breakup, my lessons, my efforts and steps to recover and finally how my life shapes up in the next few years!! This blog is more like a journal or writer's log (wlog).

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